fucking fuckers

There is this one guy at work that has no lust for life and has no passion for anything. Guess what? He's boring as fuck and no one gives two shit about his opinions or thoughts. I just don't understand people that don't have passion for something.... Fuck dogs, jerk off horses, learn to crochet just do something. Without passion you are one brain eating away from being a fucking zombie.

Why I get wanderlust

A lot of people wonder why I like to bounce around so much and see what else is out there, and as a matter of fact that's why I'm plotting on moving again when this lease is up. I can remember it so vividly it was like it was yesterday standing in the ocean in Santa Cruz California I had one of the most wonderfully perfect epiphanies of my life. I noticed that when you're standing in the ocean, if you fight the waves, they will knock you down, every time. But if you loosen up, and move with them a bit, you can easily stay standing. I think life works the same way. "Maybe this year will be better than the last. I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself. To hold on to these moments as they pass. And its one more day up in the canyon. And its one more night in Hollywood. Its been so long since Ive seen the ocean...I guess I should"

Why I love/hate my job Thursday edition

So just to impress my bosses and because I'm a glutton for punishment, and because they didn't really trust anyone else to do it safely/ dumb enough to dig a trench around 120 volt power lines I ended up doing it/supervising it today at work. As it was getting done I gave my shovel and attempted to convince the assistant supervisor to finish so I could take a break and still know it would get finished, he replies with "I spent my time on a shovel its time for you young'ens to earn your stripes". I took it all in looked at the sixty some odd feet of ditch over three feet three deep through clay and rock and replied with "spent your time on the end of shovel huh? Just like that, leaning on it I bet" to which he replies through lots of chuckling "Jay your a dick". Guilty as charged. On a semi unrelated note it just boggles my mind that kids my age up to forty don't know how to pour concrete, use an electric line finder, lay drainage line, basic carpentry, using a chainsaw, bare basic small engine repairs, and a whole other assortment of shit that I have had to show people on the course. There is a whole generation of pussy's (my generation unfortunately) that has no idea how to be a man much less a handyman. It just disgusts me that I have to be lumped in with all these mouth breathers.

It's a great day.

Got out of work early because of the weather(even with leaving early I still have enough hours for over time this pay period), going to Sprint to pick up a new phone, job interview at 4 30, got another interview for Lowes whenever they call call back, tattoos at five. Oh yeah and I worked a shit load so I got a giant wad of cash on my desk. Fuck yeah. Weekend off + loot+ beer= happiness.

big fish in a small pond

It's so hard being in a place where I don't know anyone or who I do know I typically don't wanna hang out with. It's weird, foreign but kind of nice to go from a whale in a puddle to a minnow in the ocean. I'm not sure what I'm trying to get at here and it don't matter. Just a randon thought on a random night. Happy drinko de mayo! Hooray for a big ass check coming friday. Goodbye check thank you supplements, bar, and silver bullet. You will be missed.

"I have taken my blows, I'm still standing"

Thanks to a random conversation with Mrs. downstairs after I was done working out I realized something kind of important. I realized what she claims is my source of manliness is actually why I think people are drawn to me and want to be my friend. I've had a rough kind of fucked up life thus far no doubt, but I've come through the other side battered, bruised, but not broken. There is no more satisfying a feeling then realizing that if you could take anything from your first 23 years back that you wouldn't change it for the world because all the bullshit has turned me into who I am and I'm finally able to say I'm proud of myself. I am the phoenix from the ashes. (P.S there is a reason why your at least my part time friend fair weather.)

Reason number 1003 why I love my job

Today after lunch while I was getting ready to go fix someone else's fuck up (apparently my MO from last year has stuck) Me and both my bosses somehow got on the topic of growing up and what it means to be a man. The gist of it was when your young when you screw up you always try and blame it on something greater then yourself, but the day that you just start owning up to shit saying "yes it was my fault, I fucked up, now let me fix this" is what makes you a man. And this my friends is what makes it worth waking up at five a.m. every day to go to work. Because my bosses are the shit and we all have mutual respect for each other and have awesome random conversations.

my theme song to life

Crazy Town
Change lyrics

Now in these cynical times
Sterotypical minds
Got me falling from my pinnacle the minute I climb
Now these subliminal thoughts got individuals blind
I'm trying to look beyond the lies
Just to see what I'll find
I'm like a flower in a cave
Another hour in the maze
And I'll cower to the power of my criminal ways
The sun is shining but I'm catching minimal rays
It's time for me to grow out of this childish phase
My life is like a battle that I'll probably never win
'cause I keep thinking big and risking everything
Life's a challenge and I wonder if I'll ever find the balance
Mixed emotions and confusion topped off with many talents

Chorus:
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever change
Can I change
Would I change
Or am I always gonna be the same
I blame the world for making me such a freak
But the world wants to blame it on me
(my life is twisted)

My finger's pointing in the mirror
I'm the one now
I see my shadow in the sun dial
Am I really out of change
Put my freedom in a cage
Slow down
Man I got a son now
There's nothing new thay all said it
And I know it but I had to go throught it myself
I'm hard-headed
That's the only way I'll learn
Get caught in the fire ther's no escaping the burn
And it burns
Change this
Change that
Change is full of lies
I remain the same cat wear a good disquise
Living life loking through my third blind crooked eye
So if I change I'd be changing for the worst wouldn't i?

Chorus:
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever change
Can I change
Would I change
Or am I always gonna be the same
I blame the world for making me such a freak
But the world wants to blame it on me
(my life is twisted)

I wanna run but if I run I'm only running form myself
Would it be easier if I were someone else
I'm like a child playin' with matches that's never beeen burned
Relearning all the lessons that I've already learned
On a highway to a destinatin I've earned
So many exits, but I've never bothered to turn
I'm like a piece of shard glass laying on a frame of a window
That was broken by the bricks of pain
Sometimes I feel just like the devil's guinea pig
He's watching me just to see how deep I can dig
I admit I'm fucked up and got a lot to learn
So now I'm dancing in the ashes of the bridge I've burned

Chorus:
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever change
Can I change
Would I change
Or am I always gonna be the same
I blame the world for making me such a freak
But the world wants to blame it on me
(my life is twisted)

The meaning of the lyrics Sound of Silence

Answer

"The Sound of Silence" was first released on Simon and Garfunkel's initial album, "Wednesday Morning, 3 AM." The album sold only two thousand copies. After watching their album sink, Simon and Garfunkel parted ways. However this was not the end of their career together. Without their knowledge, Simon and Garfunkel's recording company had Bob Johnson rework the song with electric guitar, bass, and drums. With these changes, the song became an instant hit and soon climbed to the top of the charts. Simon and Garfunkel rejoined and quickly became one of, if not the, greatest duos of all time. But behind the song's beautiful melodies and enjoyable rhythm is a deep message within the lyrics that has been interpreted in many different ways. I have read and heard many people's opinions. Some of them are a little abstract and others seem believable. One fellow said it was merely about a man dreaming of neon lights revealing numerous people bowing to him as if he were a god. Another stated it was a song regarding the lack of communication between people. These interpretations may or may not be correct; however I have a different perception of "The Sound of Silence."

I personally believe this song portrays a vision or dream that Paul Simon had. The lines, "Because a vision softly creeping,/Left its seeds while I was sleeping" lead me to believe that he had a dream. Yet perhaps it is highly possible he never had a dream or vision or anything of the sort but merely used this image to get a point across. Yet the message of this song lies in the contents of his dream.

Paul Simon seeks to convey a message of how ignorance taints the minds of so many people. "Silence" refers to submission. He reveals how people so foolishly follow rulers without actually knowing a ruler's true intentions and background. "People hearing without listening" reveals a people's willingness to take heed to the commands spoken by a leader without fully realizing the consequences of this obedience.

Simon, or whomever is having this dream, tries to warn these conformists in the lines that read "'Fools' said I, "You do not know/ Silence like a cancer grows/ Hear my words that I might teach you,/ Take my arms that I might reach you."" But his warning is swallowed in the abyss of submission: "But my words like silent raindrops fell,/And echoed/In the wells of silence."

This song may refer to a particular nation or people, but most likely it refers to people in general who submit themselves too freely. The song continues to describe the people's capitulation in several lines, most notably in the words, "And the people bowed and prayed/To the neon god they made." The song's meaning is for the listener to decide and there are many different ideas; however, I personally have always believed that it pertains to a people's readiness to support a leader without fully realizing the possible outcomes

An alternative interpretation is one of the neon sign in the dream being the Television medium personified (or deity-fied[sic]). This would explain the 'people talking without speaking' and 'hearing without listening' lyrics - as one who is observing people watching television as an unnatural phenomenon would have a hard time reconciling the observed conversation without any active participation by the viewer. Also the 'writing songs..' lyric is not as form fitting here but it is somewhat foreign in the song itself and may be a songwriter's (in this case Simon's) translation for a message especially an original one which will never be entertained by the T.V.'s captive audience. Also, the neon glow from the 'sign' goes on to further parallel the light properties of the T.V. supporting this comparison

Finally the 'words of the prophet are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.." This is a bit more deductive. There is a train of thought that a "prophet is not recognized in his own house", which is another issue on itself, but I think this lyric implies that the true prophets are living in Subways and Tenements There is also a hint of the 'read the writing on the wall' saying which is generally a call to face reality, which either way you view the lyric the "neon god" defers truth and possibly power to the words on the walls and halls. Graffiti-esque literature is what you indeed find on those specific walls and halls. Ironically or not those without a 'voice' in society are the ones who use this dissemination of information for self expression, i.e. "crack is wack" murals. I interpret this then to mean look to the people with no voice (or 'silenced'?) to hear the truth/prophecy. As we recall the dreamer or Simon was him/herself one of those people without a voice silenced by the crowd.

So I think that a holistic universal meaning to the song is one that we are searching for (truth, guidance) and it is already right under our noses. We walk by the truth (on subway walls and tenement halls) everyday and take no note but rather we construct elaborate gods and complicated idols to interpret a reality we are, by definition, already in tune with. The title of the song itself seems to me to reflect that paradox.

I am aware Simon in an NPR interview has admitted there was no profoundly deep meaning to the lyrics when he wrote them. He said he was possibly expressing teenage angst and frustration as to how they are largely ignored by society, however, my interpretation I think is one to give clarity to the stream of consciousness with analogous symbols (where I didn't ramble too much) and largely holds true to that theme.

Ugh

In celebration of getting called out by (name not that important) I have decided that tonight's dinner is going to be some steak and Corona's and for desert a giant shot of tequila finished with a giant dip and happily looking at my brand new membership to the NRA while I sit here and scratch away at my hairy ass. All the while admiring my calloused hands and beard. Don't try and call me out for being a metro asshole. Thats like calling out Elton John out for being a poon slayer. Now, off to get drunk and bask in my man funk consisting of beer, cigs, dip, dirt, sweat, blood and blister juice.