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Saturday, June 13, 2009


Even though not everything in my house would make a sweet beer bong I will be picking up a pink flamingo when I get the chance. Who doesn't need the "FLABONGO?"

I'm not a doctor but all the signs seem to be there

I realized today that I've accidentally became an adult. Here is just a short list of the dirty symptoms that have been plaguing me.

I don't get high anymore and go to the gas station for dinner.

"those fucking kids" are actually 18 year old adults.

The phrase "when I was a kid" has actually entered my vocabulary.

Beer is no longer whats for breakfast.

I've gotten so used to waking up at 4:30 for work that I no longer need an alarm clock. I set it just in case.

Not every random object in my apartment would totally make a sweet bong or beer bong.

People actually come to me for advice. And I give them sincere insight instead of random funny gibberish.

Reading for a bit and then going to bed seems like an acceptable alternative to going out.

When being around 18-21 year olds isn't fun; they're obnoxious, retarded know-it-alls. I wouldn't go back to being 18 for a million dollars.

I stopped dealing with unstable people just for great sex.

Having sex with a 15 year old is no longer my weekly goal, it's now creepy and illegal.

When there's a piece of shit just aching to get into a fight with me, and I realize that I'm too damn old to get arrested for fighting so I just brush it off and move on.

I hear younger kids referring to songs I listened to as "classics".

The mindset of sleeping with as many girls as possible distinctly faded away and I find myself longing to be with someone who can put up with me on a daily basis, if you're lucky you have found that person.

Motherfucker I feel old. Now get those damned kids off my lawn.