An open letter to the guys at the gym

Trust me when I say this. You designer sunglasses and Sean john work out suit do not help you at the gym. But then again neither does standing in front of the mirrors flexing the entire fucking time while I try and lift. Standing around trying to act important on your blue tooth headset while wandering around like a lost child occasionally lifting weights that would be better suited for pubescent girls trying to get toned are not going to get you anywhere. If your going to a gym to hang out and look important you are an entire shed of tool. The only guy worse at the gym today was your Guido looking friend that found it necessary to scream and grunt while lifting weights that I usually WARM UP WITH BEFORE I START. So with that Guido and three Kanye west knock off friends I am not impressed.

Eminem beautiful lyrics

(Musical intro)
I'm just so fucking depressed
i just cant seem to get out this slump
if i could just get over this hump
but i need something to pull me out this dump
i took my bruises took my lumps
fell down and i got right back up
but i need that spark to get psyched back up
and in order for me to pick the mic back up
i don't know how or why or when
i ended up this position I'm in
I'm started to feel distant again
so i decided just to pick this pen
up and try to make an attempt to vent
but i just cant admit
or come to grips the fact that i may be done with rap
i need a new outlet
and i know some shits so hard to swallow
but i cant just sit back and wallow
in my own sorrow but i know one fact
ill be one tough act to follow
one tough act to follow
ill be one tough act to follow
here today gone tomorrow but you'd have to walk a thousand miles

Chorus:
in my shoes, just to see
what its like, to be me
ill be you, lets trade shoes
just to see what id be like
to feel your pain, you feel mine
go inside each others minds
just to see what we'd find
look at shit through each others eyes
it don't matter saying you ain't beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to you
don't matter saying you ain't beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to you

i think I'm starting to lose my sense of humor
every things so tense and gloom
i almost fee like i gotta check the temperature of the room just as soon as i walk in
its like all eyes on me i try to avoid any contact
cause if i do that then it opens the door for conversation like i want that
I'm not looking for extra attention i just want to be just like you
blend in with the rest of the room maybe just point me to the closest restroom
i don't need no fucking man servant trying to follow me around and try to wipe my ass
laugh at every single joke i crack and half of them ain't even funny like hahhhhh
"Marshall your so funny man you should be a comedian god damn"
unfortunately i am i just hide behind the tears of a clown
so why don't you all sit down
listen to the tale that I'm about to tell
hell we don't gotta trade our shoes
and you don't gotta walk no thousand miles

Chorus:
in my shoes, just to see
what its like, to be me
ill be you, lets trade shoes
just to see what id be like
to feel your pain, you feel mine
go inside each others minds
just to see what we'd find
look at shit through each others eyes
it don't matter saying you ain't beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to you
don't matter saying you ain't beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to youuuuu

nobody asked for life to deal us with these bullshit hands we're dealt
we gotta take these cards ourselves and flip em don't expect no help
now i could have either just stayed at home sit on my ass and pissed and moaned
or take this situation with which I'm placed in and get up and kick my own
i was never the type of kid to wait by the door and pack his bags
and sat on the porch and hope and prayed for a dad to show up who never did
i just wanted to fit in in every single place every school i went
i dreamed of being that cool kid even if it meant acting stupid
and Edna always told me keep making that face and it'll get stuck like that
meanwhile I'm just standing there holding my tongue trynwa twalk like dwis
then i stuck my tongue on that frozen stop sign pole at 8 years old
i learned my lesson then cause i wasn't trying to impress my friends no more
but i already told you my whole life story
not just based on my description
cause where you see it from where your sitting its probably 110% different
i guess we would have to walk a mile in each others shoes at least
what size you wear? i wear tens
lets see if you can fit your feet

Chorus:
in my shoes, just to see
what its like, to be me
ill be you, lets trade shoes
just to see what it'd be like
to feel your pain, you feel mine
go inside each others minds
just to see what we'd find
look at shit through each others eyes
it don't matter saying you ain't beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to you
don't matter saying you ain't beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to you
so
it don't matter saying you ain't beautiful
they can all get fucked just stay true to you
so

(music outro)

em:
yeah
to my babies
stay strong
daddy will be home soon
and to the rest of the world
god gave you shoes to fit you
so put em on and wear them
be yourself man
be proud of who you are
and even if it sounds corny
don't ever let anyone tell you you ain't beautiful

fucking fuckers

There is this one guy at work that has no lust for life and has no passion for anything. Guess what? He's boring as fuck and no one gives two shit about his opinions or thoughts. I just don't understand people that don't have passion for something.... Fuck dogs, jerk off horses, learn to crochet just do something. Without passion you are one brain eating away from being a fucking zombie.

Why I get wanderlust

A lot of people wonder why I like to bounce around so much and see what else is out there, and as a matter of fact that's why I'm plotting on moving again when this lease is up. I can remember it so vividly it was like it was yesterday standing in the ocean in Santa Cruz California I had one of the most wonderfully perfect epiphanies of my life. I noticed that when you're standing in the ocean, if you fight the waves, they will knock you down, every time. But if you loosen up, and move with them a bit, you can easily stay standing. I think life works the same way. "Maybe this year will be better than the last. I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself. To hold on to these moments as they pass. And its one more day up in the canyon. And its one more night in Hollywood. Its been so long since Ive seen the ocean...I guess I should"

Why I love/hate my job Thursday edition

So just to impress my bosses and because I'm a glutton for punishment, and because they didn't really trust anyone else to do it safely/ dumb enough to dig a trench around 120 volt power lines I ended up doing it/supervising it today at work. As it was getting done I gave my shovel and attempted to convince the assistant supervisor to finish so I could take a break and still know it would get finished, he replies with "I spent my time on a shovel its time for you young'ens to earn your stripes". I took it all in looked at the sixty some odd feet of ditch over three feet three deep through clay and rock and replied with "spent your time on the end of shovel huh? Just like that, leaning on it I bet" to which he replies through lots of chuckling "Jay your a dick". Guilty as charged. On a semi unrelated note it just boggles my mind that kids my age up to forty don't know how to pour concrete, use an electric line finder, lay drainage line, basic carpentry, using a chainsaw, bare basic small engine repairs, and a whole other assortment of shit that I have had to show people on the course. There is a whole generation of pussy's (my generation unfortunately) that has no idea how to be a man much less a handyman. It just disgusts me that I have to be lumped in with all these mouth breathers.

It's a great day.

Got out of work early because of the weather(even with leaving early I still have enough hours for over time this pay period), going to Sprint to pick up a new phone, job interview at 4 30, got another interview for Lowes whenever they call call back, tattoos at five. Oh yeah and I worked a shit load so I got a giant wad of cash on my desk. Fuck yeah. Weekend off + loot+ beer= happiness.

big fish in a small pond

It's so hard being in a place where I don't know anyone or who I do know I typically don't wanna hang out with. It's weird, foreign but kind of nice to go from a whale in a puddle to a minnow in the ocean. I'm not sure what I'm trying to get at here and it don't matter. Just a randon thought on a random night. Happy drinko de mayo! Hooray for a big ass check coming friday. Goodbye check thank you supplements, bar, and silver bullet. You will be missed.

"I have taken my blows, I'm still standing"

Thanks to a random conversation with Mrs. downstairs after I was done working out I realized something kind of important. I realized what she claims is my source of manliness is actually why I think people are drawn to me and want to be my friend. I've had a rough kind of fucked up life thus far no doubt, but I've come through the other side battered, bruised, but not broken. There is no more satisfying a feeling then realizing that if you could take anything from your first 23 years back that you wouldn't change it for the world because all the bullshit has turned me into who I am and I'm finally able to say I'm proud of myself. I am the phoenix from the ashes. (P.S there is a reason why your at least my part time friend fair weather.)