I hate y'all

I feel so distant, so isolated, so different. It sounds so cliche but I feel like me and all my friends from up here are on just two completely different wave lengths. My goals, hopes, ambitions, drive are all completely different from every ones up here. I know time changes everything and "you can never go home again" but damn. I think today is as good of a day as any to go find out about the he man woman haters club. Fuck a factory job maybe when work is slow I'll just log? Fuck you you don't know how to be a friend. It was fun but your 18 and we are light years apart in what we want and your moms nuts. Fuck you you bitch and moan that no one is there to be your friend when YOU need one yet you don't reciprocate that. Should I become as fucked up as your family so you think you need to rescue me again? I'm going to start a harem of bitches, one can never have too many dishwashers slash food cookers handy. My son thinks hes a cat now and likes to dig holes on the beach, shit in them and cover them with sand? Bad whiskers!?!. I'm overly tired didn't get done what I wanted to today. And I hope you all die from cancer that eats you from your very core to the one thing most of you fucks don't have.... A soul.

Who I am

I think it's a testament to who I am as a person that by far the closest friend I've made in my year and some change in the dirty smelly fucking vile cornfields is trailer trash. Yeah he may not be the smartest man and he may have been married 7 times but.......... Hes one of the few people that I've come across that is genuinely nice. I'm talking literally give you the shirt off your back and money out of his wallet nice. Me and him bond over dogs, country music, beer, jack and coke, ex wives, hunting, fishing, camping. Pretty much things that make my world go round. In other words there are two reasons why I'm gonna miss this place. Real diverse restaurants and my hetero life mate.

Real update coming soon I promise. Just let me not work like a field nigger for one day and it'll be here. I have shit tons on my mind but the words won't come out right when I'm exhausted.

Some time around midnight.....

Sometime Around Midnight the Airborne Toxic Event Lyrics

And it starts..
Sometime around midnight
Or at least that's when
You lose yourself
For a minute or two

As you stand...
Under the barlights
And the band plays some song
About forgetting yourself for a while
And the piano's this melancholy soundcheck
To her smile
And that white dress she's wearing
You haven't seen her
For a while

But you know...
That she's watching
She's laughing, she's turning
She's holding her tonic like a crux
The room suddenly spinning
She walks up and asks how you are
So you can smell her perfume
You can see her lying naked in your arms

And so there's a change...
In your emotions
And all of these memories come rushing
Like feral waves to your mind
Of the curl of your bodies
Like two perfect circles entwined
And you feel hopeless, and homeless
And lost in the haze
Of the wine

And she leaves...
With someone you don't know
But she makes sure you saw her
She looks right at you and bolts
As she walks out the door
Your blood boiling
Your stomach in ropes
And when your friends say what is it
You look like you've seen a ghost

And you walk...
Under the streetlights
And you're too drunk to notice
That everyone is staring at you
And you so care what you look like
The world is falling
Around you

You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her

And you know that she'll break you
In two

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you

I'm just so fuckin' depressed
I just can seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump
But I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumps
Fell down and I got right back up
But I need that spark to get psyched back up
In order for me to pick that mic back up
I don't know how I pry away
And I ended up in this position I'm in
I starting to feel distant again
So I decided just to pick this pen
Up and tried to make an attempt to vent
But I just can't admit
Or come to grips, with the fact that
I may be done with rap
I need a new outlet
I know some shits so hard to swallow
And I just can't sit back and wallow
In my own sorrow
But I know one fact
I'll be one tough act to follow
One tough act to follow
Copy
One tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow
But you have to walk a thousand miles

Chorus
Walk my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
All be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes

But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you

I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humor
Everything is so tense and gloom
I almost feel like I gotta check the temperature in the room
Just as soon as I walk in
It's like all eyes on me
So I try to avoid any eye contact
Cause if I do that then it opens a door to conversation
Like I want that...
I'm not looking for extra attention
I just want to be just like you
Blend in with the rest of the room
Maybe just point me to the closest restroom
I don't need fucking man servin'
Tryin to follow me around, and wipe my ass
Laugh at every single joke I crack
And half of them ain't even funny like that
Ahh Marshall, you're so funny man, you should be a comedian, god damn
Unfortunately I am, but I just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit down
Listen to the tale I'm about to tell
Hell, we don't have to trade our shoes
And you don't have to walk no thousand miles

Chorus
Walk my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
All be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes

But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo

Nobody asked for life to deal us
With these bullshit hands with doubt
We have to take these cards ourselves
And flip them, don't expect no help
Now I could have either just
Sat on my ass and pissed and moaned
But take this situation in which I'm placed in
And get up and get my own
I was never the type of kid
To wait but I know to unpack his bags
Never sat on the porch and hoped and prayed
For a dad to show up who never did
I just wanted to fit in
Every single place
Every school I went
I dreamed of being that cool kid
Even if it meant acting stupid
Aunt Edna always told me
Keep making that face till it gets stuck like that
Meanwhile I'm just standing there
Holding my tongue up trying to talk like this
Till I stuck my tungue on the frozen stop sign poll at 8 years old
I learned my lesson and cause I wasn't tryin to impress my friends no more
But I already told you my whole life story
Not just based on my description
Cause where you see it from where you're sitting
Is probably 110% different
I guess we would have to walk a mile
In each other's shoes, at least
What size you where?
I wear tens
Let's see if you can fit your feet

Chorus
Walk my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
All be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes

But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has a private world
Where they can be alone... sOoOoo
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through OoOo
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you sOoOoo Oo Oo

Yea... To my babies. Stay strong. Daddy will be soon
And to the rest of the world, god gave you the shoes
That fit you, so put em on and wear em
And be yourself man, be proud of who you are
Even if it sounds corny,
Don't ever let no one tell you, you ain't beautiful

So I'm finally doing it. I'm going into business for myself. I have the money, the equipment and more importantly the experience to finally be my own boss. By my own admission I'm scared as fuck. I have so many questions. What makes someone a good boss/ employer? How do you find employees that are suitable to deal with my hot head and anal retentive ways? How do I separate myself from the competition? Basically I've read the books on it but I would rather get some real world input from people with more experience than me. And for the record it will be a tree service/ lawn and turf business/ landscaping. Any witty slogans and such are greatly appreciated.

Todays lesson brought to you by the letter A

I'm tired of people assuming shit about me because of my personal appearance, my demeanor, my attitude, etc. Yes thats right guy that knows the irrigation system at work. I picked up half your knowledge base in two season there. You've been there since when? 89? I don't look like the reading type? You do look like the creepy fifty something guy that lives with his mom and talks incessantly about caving and cars. Hey look Jay 1, Alan 0. Asshole.

Goonies never say die!

As me and one of my bosses were discussing if everyone would be cool with coming in at 5 every day instead of 6 to try and beat the heat (it was overwhelmingly agreed that its a good idea) we had this little exchange in the middle of it. "So Jay did you and Wayne give up on bunkers for the day or what?" "Goonies never say die!" "Did your mom drink alot when she was pregnant?" Pause for us laughing. "That's what I love about summer, you can drink as much beer as you want and you sweat it all out by 10 and you feel good as new." "Yeah I drank a lot of NewCastle last night and I've been chucking butt mud all day because of it." So in summation I challenge everyone to try and put those sentences back to back. "Goonies never say die!" and "Yeah I drank a lot of NewCastle last night and I've been chucking butt mud all day because of it."

I am quite possibly retarded

I love working outside and I'm one of the hardest working smart ass motherfuckers the golf course has ever seen. I love the fact that even though I'm an "adult" and "responsible with power tools" it still amuses me that people trust me enough with tools that I could easily "trip" and "disembowel assholes I don't like" and have said these things verbatim to my bosses that they think I'm joking and still allow me to go out and do whatever. I love my second job, more smart ass comments and it's only the people from work that actually WORK and that the arborist likes. It's pretty much the golf course version 2.0 with more money which is awesome because when most of your money goes to cigarettes, dip(none of that poor people Griz shit for me) or rent more money is better. Obviously. The third job at the pet store that I start Sunday morning (after getting off work from the golf course which I will get some time off one of these months I swear) is kind of iffy. I might be a lot of things but I'm really not sure if customer service is going to be my forte. Oh I see your bringing back a dead fish, well that's fucking awesome throw that in the trash and I'll get you a new one. I can see it all ready. I will keep this updated on my (mis)adventures of trying to deal with people on a day to day basis. Somehow I can see my alcohol consumption going up exponentially having to deal with people.

But

Even though not everything in my house would make a sweet beer bong I will be picking up a pink flamingo when I get the chance. Who doesn't need the "FLABONGO?"