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Friday, February 13, 2009

Roses are red Violets are blue Your upper lip is both You know I don't like coconut chocolates.

So the worst of the hallmark holidays are upon us and holy shocker of shock I'm single for it. Seriously anyone that buys into literally trying to buy a woman's love is at best mildly retarded you know what i got for Vday one year? A bag of beef jerky a couple of boxes of shotgun shells and a carton of cigs (best Vday ever there's a reason that one got suckered into being my soon to be ex wife). One of these years I won't be single for this great holiday, you know what my significant other is going to get? A fucking black eye if she expects more then making me breakfast for her day to be complete. Tomorrow rest assured that's not a zombie shambling into view in the distance, no my friend it is some stupid bitch upset that her secret crush didn't shell out money for chocolate roses and whatever other shit guys are dumb enough to buy, seriously I want to spend all day tomorrow pretending I'm not an asshole cleaning up on the the inevitable I'm single boo hoo poon just sitting there waiting to be taken.

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