30 packs of keystone light and 3 channels on a clear day. Insights on my weirdness

Me and the room mate got in a conversation the other day about people never really connect the dots about the way they ended up. Now granted the following can only account for so much but anyways back on point. When I was a little ass kid maybe 6 or 7 my parents decided that the best thing to do was to buy a camp and go out there along with my older sister(the younger one had yet to be thought of) and watch my parents drink themselves into a fight every weekend and sometimes starting on Thursday night if we were lucky. As funny as that is that is just background. Now here's the funny part amidst a shit storm that was my adolescence came a voracious appetite for reading. Where did that come from you ask? Well that winter was a bitterly cold one even for the tundra with highs in December hovering somewhere south of wanting a good buckshot mouth rinse. So with the options of watching ABC, PBS, or if it was clear out also having the chance to watch CBC or watch my parents get drunk I read. Anything around me. Readers digest at first. Now it's nothing for me to have 1,2,3 books in various levels of being read cover to cover. I guess the point I'm making is two fold. Regardless of how bad you think your parents fucked you up it is your job to deal with that and want to do better, the second is simply that life is beautiful for all the shit that you have to take in and deal with and compartmentalize sometimes all you need is a hammock and a radio to make it better. Point being life is beautiful all the way through instead of dwelling start finding beauty in negative spaces.

Apparently in the rules of fight club they forgot to mention the one about tard brawling

Something something (clap clap) deep in the heart of Texas. Any state that has a long list of accomplishments that include but are not limited to retard fight club, David Koresh, capital punishment of retarded people etc. Cant be that bad right? And for anyone that hasn't gotten their daily dose of missing blond haired Caucasian updates apparently Haleigh's dad is getting married to a 17 year old! Hooray just like so many others it will be only a matter of time before its revealed that mommy chopped her up and threw her in the woods like so many others so why try and hold the suspense? We've seen it played it too many times before.

Beautiful world colin hay

My my my it’s a beautiful world
I like swimming in the sea
I like to go out beyond the white breakers
Where a man can still be free (or a woman if you are one)
I like swimming in the sea.

My my my it’s a beautiful world
I like drinking Irish tea
With a little bit of lapsang souchong
I like making my own tea.

My my my it’s a beautiful world
I like driving in my car
Roll the top down sometimes I travel quite far
Drive to the ocean stare up at the stars
I like driving in my car

All around is anger automatic guns
It’s death in large numbers no respect for women or our little ones
I tried talking to Jesus but He just put me on hold
Said He’d been swamped by calls this week
And He couldn’t shake His cold

And still this emptiness persists
Perhaps this is as good as it gets
When you’ve given up the drink and those nasty cigarettes
Now I leave the party early at least with no regrets
I watch the sun as it comes up I watch it as it sets
Yeah this is as good as it gets.

My my my it’s a beautiful world
I like sleeping with Marie
She is one sexy girl full of mystery
She says she doesn’t love me but she likes my company
For now that’s good enough for me

Hey you, give me my life back

Odd, tumultuous, shaky, hostile. These are the words that best describe every relationship I have with a VAG at the moment. I love how for the past few years it seems I've been every girl I dated little fix it project. Now all the sudden holy shit he's matured? Can hide the chip on his shoulder? Is compassionate? What the fuck happened? Here's the kicker nothing at all has changed. Not one iota, unless you count hair starting to pop up in odd(er) spots. I didn't mature. Maturing is for fucking mutual funds not this manimal. The only difference between now and then is I became now say it with me kids. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-awareness. Learn it love it use it . There is no Morocco, there is no me coming back to the UP, there is no more wondering "what if". Like I said the other night the biggest fuck you I can possibly give to an ex is to show how awesome of a person I became in the mean time and it was your loss not mine.

Hello? Can you hear me? Am I getting through to you?

I never understood why girls always got pissed off at me for living in my head. Even if the logic is skewed it's led me to where am I which is where I am supposed to be(I think.)

Pocket full of dreams

So when I was sitting at the local mental health center yesterday I had a hot girl sitting there blatantly eye fucking me which was great for my self esteem, I really enjoy it when a hot girl sits there and eyes me up like a piece of meat. But, there is always a but, and this one is kind of a biggie think about where I was at when this happened. God knows I have a hard enough time to maintain a healthy relationship all on my own so lets just start trying to pick up other crazies at a MENTAL HEALTH CENTER. As funny of a story as it might have been sometimes a passing thought about it is the right way to go. Trying to pick up chicks at a mental health clinic is one small step above going to hang out at an incest survivor groups with a pocket full of rubbers.

But Jay, your the mechanically inclined one

That is such a fuckin cop out the only reason that statement holds any weight is much like everything else about my life. I do things to occupy my time and to amuse me nothing more, it's why I read books constantly, jack off, watch movies, watch cnn, creep around people blogs. Jesus, everything is done with one of two thoughts in mind. Making myself more well rounded, it makes other people want to learn more about the world around them because they got showed up by some "uneducated" person. The other one is quite simply just to show that there is a good reason why you see me swaying heavily from time to time that chip sits on my shoulder with good reason......

To hell and back, ramblings of an indignant egomanical prick

So its March all ready which means 4 more lease payments and the ongoing task of finding somewhere that I feel like I belong. I've started to realize that I make things way more difficult then they have to be so when I get back to the starting point I feel like I really accomplished something. The thought of just getting a map a blindfold and dart and just saying fuck it sound so appealing, last time I checked there is work for an overly intelligent asshole throughout the country. I can finally say with certainty that you can't run from yourself or your past but I'm just glad I got a head start on my shit bag cousins that try and bring me back into "the game". What part of I would love to but some shithead kid calls me dad is so hard to comprehend? Tired of rambling for the night. I go left, you go right, now leave me the fuck alone? Got it? Now do it.

Ingredients of an arrogant asshole

First add in part of Carl Jung
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

The 2nd ingredient is http://www.personalitypage.com/high-level.html

And for the record I'm an INJF otherwise known as a Introverted Intuition with Extraverted Feeling aka weird emo pussy that trusts his judgements to a fault. Take this and let me know how it goes.